The Underworld Creature

~ Guaranteed Weight Loss Program ~

2007-08-16T12:18:00.000+08:00

Stumble upon tis joke on a girl's homepage. I dunno her and she dunno me so i guess it's allrite for me to copy and paste. hahahaha.........

A man was ordered by his doctor to lose 75 lbs. due to very serious health risks. As he wondered how in the heck he would ever do it, he ran across an ad in the newspaper for a GUARANTEED WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM."Guaranteed. Yeah right!" he thought to himself. But desperate, he calls them up and subscribes to the 3-day/10 pound weight loss program.The next day there's a knock at his door, and when he answers, there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old young lady dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign round her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me!"
Without a second thought he takes off after her. A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her. After they are through and she leaves, he thinks to himself, "I like the way this company does business!" The same girl shows up for the next two days and the same thing happens.On the fourth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10lb. as promised. He calls the company and orders their 5-day/ 20 pound program. The next day there's a knock at the door and therestands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life, wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me, you can have me."
He's out the door or after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and it takes him a while to catch her, but when he does, it is worth every cramp and wheeze. For the next four days, the same routine happens.Much to his delight, on the fifth day, he weighs himself and found he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program. "Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program."Absolutely,"he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years".
The next day there's a knock at the door and when he opens it he finds a muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but Adidas running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads,
"If I catch you, you're mine."

Frustration

2007-06-28T01:39:00.000+08:00

Both money and time realli precious to us. Most of us have time but dun have money to spend around and some have money but least time to spend. Wat if u have money and time but u dunno how to spend it??? Frustrating eh...

Sexy and Cheap Swimsuit

2007-05-23T13:44:00.000+08:00

There are alot of branded swimsuits in the market and some of these swimsuits can be realli sexy. But sexy comes the price which realli expensive. Worry not cos u can get the sexiest swimsuit from JUSCO....or maybe Carrefour

sCRooL DOwN
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Familiar??? Look like JUSCO plastic bags eh... Cheap, Sexy and Environment friendly

GO GET URSELF ONE TODAY!!!!

Resignation Letter

2007-05-07T14:26:00.000+08:00

Having problem writing a resignation letter? Fear not!!! Below are some samples of resignation letter:-

Condom Factory

2007-04-16T10:58:00.001+08:00

Im sure you've been to bread factory, chocolate factory, cake factory or any other kind of factories but have you been to comdom factory? Ahhhh....worry not cos i've been there and took some pictures (hehehe...just kidding. Those pictures forwarded to me wan).

Anger

2007-04-04T21:50:00.000+08:00

Willard Gaylin-"Expressing anger is a form of public littering"

Anger...often ones with hot head can think realli well. I used to get angry easily until past few years that i tried to cool down whenever im stuck in such situations. Most of the time i managed to hold back but tat's not wat happened yesterday. Guess i still have the spark in me. Heh! And it costs me dearly...

My office is located at Tmn. Connaught and tat place realli sucks in a way. There are hardly any parking space available and people are double parking and to an extent even tripple parking. I parked my car in an available spot in front of my office and an idiot double-park in front of me. I dun mind but at least have the courtesy to be aware when someone is honking for an exit. I honked for 35mins and still the owner did not care to remove the car. Blood starts boiling and when it hits the spot, i cudnt think sanely. Hahaha...i laugh at wat i did. Pretty stupid, i tell u.

The next thing on my mind was to ram the car....and so i did. I reverse my car abit and i step on the accelator. BAMmmm...a loud voice can be heard. Quite a number of people from the shop came out to check wats happening. I honk again...but the owner still nowhere to be seen. BAaAmmm...i rammed again and i honk. This time, i saw the owner running down to rescue her car. She aint seen the damage yet. Passed me and said she din heard me. Fuck her!!! My office is at the third floor,whenever someone pressing tat blardy honk, i heard it. She looked at her car, yell at me "you did tis??" Obviously yeah...cos i damage my car too..

I open the window,stick my head out and i told her "tak nampak la!!!" She reverse her car and i drove away. The damage??? Cost me few hundreds...dunno about her tho'

Crazy eh???

Morning Call

2007-03-28T10:39:00.000+08:00

This morning i was awake by the sms alert. Someone send me a msg and blardy hell...it's in chinese. Being a banana,i cant read it...so dunno the content la. Tis make me damn "gan cheong" cos first of all i dunno who's the sender, secondly i dunno wat's the content and lastly there's no one to decode it for me. I tried to call the sender but no answer. On my way to office,i call again and he picked up. Told me he's Alan from Sentul and he's not free to chat on phone just sms will do. MGH!!! I whr got fren named Alan...
I was scrathcing my balls trying to figure out who the heck is he. When i reached office, i showed the msg to my fren and have him decoded it for me.

THE CONTENT

R u Plu, Can we be fren?

MGH KNN CCB....if girl then nevermind la. Tis guy dunno come from whr,got my number and want to be my fren. Niahai,he thinks im LeeHom meh??? I straight 1 la...

Bizzarre: Sex With "Dear"

2007-03-22T18:54:00.000+08:00

(3/21/07 - SUPERIOR, WI) - A 20-year-old man received probation after he was convicted of having sexual contact with a dead deer. The sentence also requires Bryan James Hathaway to be evaluated as a sex offender and treated at the Institute for Psychological and Sexual Health in Duluth, Minn.

"The state believes that particular place is the best to provide treatment for the individual," Assistant District Attorney Jim Boughner said.

Hathaway's probation will be served at the same time as a nine-month jail sentence he received in February for violating his extended supervision.

He was found guilty in April 2005 of felony mistreatment of an animal after he killed a horse with the intention of having sex with it. He was sentenced to 18 months in jail and two years of extended supervision on that charge as well as six years of probation for taking and driving a vehicle without the owner's consent.

Hathaway pleaded no contest earlier this month to misdemeanor mistreatment of an animal for the incident involving the deer. He was sentenced Tuesday in Douglas County Circuit Court.

"The type of behavior is disturbing," Judge Michael Lucci said. "It's disturbing to the public. It's disturbing to the court."

Wuahh!!!! tis guy realli got problem leh....lucky onli animals and not human.

Twisted Facts vs Twisted Tongue

2007-03-21T13:15:00.000+08:00

Twisted facts and twisted tongue...are the both carry the same meaning? Tried to google for it but i found these:

On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.

Butterflies taste with their feet.

More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes.

In 1994, electromagnetic interference (EMI) from a nearby cellular telephone captivated the power of a wheelchair at a scenic vista in Colorado, sending the passenger over a cliff.

More people working in advertising died on the job in 1996 than those who died while working in petroleum refining.(Fuck la!!! Im in advertising industry la...)

Babies are born without knee caps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2-6 years of age.

A cockroach will live nine days without its head, before it starves to death.(Im hunting for headless cockroach tonite)

On average people fear spiders more than they do death.

Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.

Elephants are the only mammals that can't jump.

Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.

It's possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.(Diuz...i thot was goes up must come down)

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

Four sunken nuclear submarines sit at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean. One, a Russian sub resting in deep water off of Bermuda, holds 16 live nuclear warheads. Scientists and oceanographers are unsure what the impact of the escaping plutonium will have, but warn that corrosion could create the proper chemical environment for a massive nuclear chain reaction.

The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

All polar bears are left handed..(Im left handed...call me PoLar)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.(I can start call people ostrich brain)

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

"Go." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.

A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

In the 1990's more than 30 people were axed, hanged, burned and mobbed to death in the United States for practicing witchcraft.

The average human eats eight spiders in their lifetime at night.

Unusual deaths have plagued the cast of the Poltergeist trilogy of films including 12-year-old actress Heather O'Rourke, who died of septic shock. The theory is that the set was cursed by evil.

A dragonfly has a lifespan of 24 hours.

Cat's urine glows under a black light.

In 1970, a group of people were arrested at Highgate cemetery for intent to harm...a vampire! The vampire is rumored to still be around today.

Prisoners in a California jail were so spooked by a Ouija board they made that Priests were called in to cast out the demons. The convicts had summoned up spirits, including a woman who told them how she was murdered.

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.(Wat bout kukujiao? 3 meter?)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.(kukujiao not strong? but hard wor)

After complaining about the smell in their room, a couple staying in a hotel in the United States discovered the body of a murdered girl under their bed.

It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

Ants always fall over on their right side when intoxicated.

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds, that makes the catfish rank #1 for animal having the most taste buds.

Starfish haven't got brains.

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.

The average secretary's left hand does 56% of the typing.

There are more chickens than people in the world.(Cos some people are same as chicken...chicken shit)

No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver or purple.

In most advertisements, including newspapers, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.

In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.(lidat give him the title Listener of the House la...)

The name for Oz in the "Wizard of Oz" was thought up when the creator, Frank Baum, looked at his filing cabinet and saw A-N and O-Z, hence "Oz."

The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.

It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.

A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.(twat???)

More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call.

Nearly a third of all bottled drinking water purchased in the US is contaminated with bacteria.

Homely criminals get 50% longer jail sentences, on average, than good-looking criminals.

Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

If the government has no knowledge of aliens, then why does Title 14, Section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations, implemented on July 16, 1969, make it illegal for U.S. citizens to have any contact with extraterrestrials or their vehicles?

In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.

A shrimp's heart is in its head.

In a study of 200,000 ostriches over a period of 80 years, no one reported a single case where an ostrich buried its head in the sand.

February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

Donald Duck comics were once banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants.

If you keep a Goldfish in the dark room, it will eventually turn white.

A snail can sleep for three years.

Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.

The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896. Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes.

A polar bear's skin is black. Its fur is not white, but actually clear.

Almonds are members of the peach family.

Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.

A duck's quack doesn't echo and no one knows why.

In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world's nuclear weapons combined.

Horses and rats can't vomit.

Accidental deaths caused by Physicians in per year are 120,000.

The termites of the world outweigh humans 10:1 !!!

It is impossible to lick your elbow.

The legend of Loch Ness in Scotland is 1,500 years old. The last reported sighting was in 1998, when it was filmed swimming across the loch

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.(Wingz!!!!)

A rhinoceros horn is made of compacted hair.

In 1975 a Bedfordshire family were shocked when a huge chunk of ice fell from the sky, straight through their roof. No explanation has ever been found...

The Amityville films of the 70's, about a house full of ghostly activity were based on a true story.

Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.

In 1982, a Chicago women who was walking down the street burst into flames for no apparent reason.

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.(Dun like ur neighbor,fart at him 6yrs9months...confirm die)

Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.

A young girl in America bet her friends she could spend the night in a cemetery. They found her in the morning dead in the arms of a statue.

If the population of China walked past you in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

Over 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.

New Face Lift

2007-03-20T01:37:00.000+08:00

How? Nice ernot my new face-lift blog? Almost too long din use my webpage design skills. Spend nearly an hour or so trying to locate the exact coding. haihh...wat i study last time all went down to drain. Not related to wat im doin rite now. Sometimes it's realli hard to decide wat's ahead. I can onli predict and take precautions yet things seem to changed as it goes by. Anyway, if its turned out to be gud, no harm taking the new route. Kinda enjoy wat im having rite now and wat i decide not to have at all.

Stupidity-No Cure

2007-03-14T11:51:00.000+08:00

Yesterday nite after a session of DotA wit few of my frens, we went drinking. After a few cup of Heineken, one of my fren started talking about how dumb one of the worker in his workplace. It happens tis way:

This guy was carrying a carton of cans in a box. As he was carrying it,the base of the box kenot withstand the weight so it koyak la. My fren saw it and ask tat guy just put all the cans back into the box and sealed it.

Then tis guy so clever, sealed the bottom of the box without putting the cans inside. After tat cut open the top,put the cans inside and sealed it.

Apa Nie!!!!

Dota v6.42

2007-03-12T18:29:00.000+08:00

Well...Dota v6.42 is out. Changes are:

==[Heroes]==

* Centaur Warchief -> Changed Return from 60/30 melee/range to 50/50
* Obsidian Destroyer -> Improved cast animation a little
* Tormented Soul -> Pulse Nova no longer triggers Essence Aura
* Shadow Fiend -> Reduced Shadowraze AOE
* Axe -> Lowered manacost and cooldown on Battle Hunger
* Spectre -> Reduced area that is used to check if a hero is alone with Desolate
* Sven -> Improved Toughness Aura
* Phantom Assassin -> Improved Blink Strike range per level
* Butcher -> Hook now properly interrupts channeling
* Nerubian Weaver -> Watchers no longer have spell immunity
* Geomancer -> Geomancer clones now gain 40% of any attribute bonuses the primary has
* Crystal Maiden -> Fixed Brilliance Aura to properly stack with Ring of Basilius
* Priestess of the Moon -> Slightly reduced collision area on Elune's Arrow
* Magnataur -> Cooldown on Reverse Polarity no longer increases per level
* Nerubian Assassin -> Slightly improved Mana Burn cast range at higher levels
* Troll Warlord -> Level 4 Berserker Rage gives a little more movement speed
* Bristleback -> Lowered movement speed by 5 and put a cap on how much Quill Spray can stack up to late game
* Venomancer -> Plague Wards now give less gold and cost slightly less mana
* SyllaBear -> When you summon Spirit Bear and it is already summoned, it no longer wastes the cooldown doing nothing, it errors properly
* Crystal Maiden -> Improved Brilliance Aura a bit
* Phantom Lancer -> Changed Spirit Lance projectile model
* Lord of Olympia -> Hero icon changed
* Ursa Warrior -> Enrage icon changed
* Vengeful Spirit -> Added a visual effect to Netherswap
* Lord of Olympia -> Added a new visual effect for Static Field
* Juggernaut -> Added a new visual effect to Omnislash
* Axe -> Added a new visual effect for when Culling Blade's deathblow activates (86864)
* Bane Elemental -> Added a visual effect to Brain Sap
* Spirit Bear -> Entangle doesn't work on roshan anymore
* Keeper of the Light -> Liberated Souls and Ignis Fatuus will now show attack projectile
* Dragon Knight -> Updated Elder Form tooltip to mention that it gives movement speed boost
* Added new icons for Berserker Call, Conversion, Glaives of Wisdom, Detonate, Light Strike Array, Synergy (thx snork, Black_tan, K_Prime, Mihai, L()RK@N_15, Amadi and switch)
* Axe -> Improved hero animation when casting Culling Blade

==[Items]==

* Added new item -> Hood of Defiance
* Added new item -> Assault Cuirass
* Added new item -> Bloodstone (can be disassembled, heal inspired by topic (116735)
* Satanic -> Active ability changed
* Helm of Iron Will -> Increased hp regen to +3 (from +2)
* Divine Rapier -> Now it can be manually dropped
* Vladmir's Offering -> Bonus damage is an aura now(only on melee heroes, not creeps)
* Battle Fury -> Cleave AOE from 200 to 225
* Mekansm -> Mekansm heal stack restriction can no longer be overridden by buckler
* Ring of Basilius -> Ring of Basilius can be clicked to switch it back and forth between a version that has armor affecting creeps and one that doesn't
* Eul's Scepter of Divinity -> Nerfed cooldown on Cyclone
* Butterfly -> Butterfly from 25/25/25/25 to 30/30/30/30 and recipe from 1400 to 1800
* Necronomicon -> Lowered mana burn a bit
* Bottle -> When bottle with rune expires due to time, it uses the rune instead of wasting it (122057)
* Ancient Tango of Essifation -> Removed cooldown when buying tangos
* Sentry and Observer wards -> Changed a bit
* Reduced cooldown on buying all other items
* Mjollnir -> Changed icon to the one suggested on the forums (102574)
* Gem & Sentry Wards -> Improved tooltips for new players (118074)
* Ancient Tango of Essifation -> Added buff icon
* Necronomicon -> Improved tooltip on level 3 Necronomicon
* Updated Buriza and Crystalis tooltips to list critical chance
* Removed Lumber from recipes, now it does not list it as a requirement and gives you a proper error

==[Game Modes & Commmands]==

* Adjusted starting gold in -rd to give you the same amount you'd have when the creeps come out in regular pick game (right now it is a little less than normal)
* Enabled POTM/Warlock/Alchemist in -lm and Warlock in -rd
* Added -om(onlymid) due to popular demand to disable creepspawn and tower vulnerability everywhere but middle
* Added -powerup and -neutrals to single player commands
* Added -nd (no death timer) and -lives xx (maximum lives) as optional commands after -dm is activated
* Added a -fleshstr command for Pudge to view how much str you gained from the ability
* Added -deathon/off (-don/off) that toggles on and off a new death timer to show you your respawn without needing to open the scoreboard
* -cson now places the k/d in the multiboard title
* -showdeny is enabled by default for observers
* Siege units are now properly added to your -cs
* Weather commands are now user specific, so you can have rain while your ally has snow and the others have nothing* Added an extra blank line before -ma output, to help readability when used near other commands

==[Map & Misc Changes/Fixes]==

* Changed the way Aegis and Roshan work. Aegis is now a Roshan drop (a 1-charge ankh basically). You cannot create it manually. Roshan starts out weaker without melee return. He respawns stronger and bigger every 10 minutes
* Added a new secret shop containing limited items (only stout and helm of iron will for now) to the top left and bottom right areas
* Changed Range creep quantity upgrade from 60min to 45min. Siege follows this as well. Melee creeps quantity upgrade frequency changed to a few minutes sooner than usual
* Implemented a sound for when creeps spawn for the first time (75198)
* Chicken/Crow can no longer sell items (has been abused in long games to sell for money to buyback. The sellback price on recipes is only intended to be that high to help against misclicks) * Removed internal usage of lumber resource
* Notification is sent when an observer leaves the game
* Added a game timer in the top interface
* Fog of War is removed when a team wins (111691)
* Illusion from runes lasts a little longer now (40->60)
* Removed internal usage of food resource
* Added cooldown to neutral creep ability tooltips
* When a player leaves, the leaver hero name is written after the player's name
* Fixed Infernal duration typo on Rain of Chaos
* Fixed a typo in the Overgrowth damage
* Fixed First Blood being displayed in white if sp is on and observers are present
* Fixed Observer Ward buff saying Sentry Ward (123887)
* Fixed a bug in -sp that causes observer board to be removed
* Fixed a typo on the number of targets on level 3 Forked Lightning
* Fixed bugs with Aegis on Meepo* Fixed Echo Slam damage doing less than advertised (7 less)
* Fixed a typo in level 3 Spirit Bear HP
* Changed all Brilliance Aura values from percentages to numbers since it isn't really a percentage (it always worked like this, just the tooltips were misleading)
* Fixed Treant and Druid sound set (79352)
* Fixed a bug with Shadowraze killing wards
* Fixed some minor control issues with Timewalk

Download dota v6.42

Monday Blues

2007-03-12T18:22:00.000+08:00

Still cudnt solved the problem with my hard disk. It seems the motherboard kenot detect tat blardy piece of hard disk and i kenot proceed wit the formatting. Fuck those viruse creators. they shud've die and burn in hell. Guess i havta send it out to the expert. It might cost a liltle but at least i can have my data back. Darn!!! shudda burn all those data in CDs instead of saving them in partition. Well...i've learned my lesson.

Naruto Shippuuden is out

2007-03-07T11:41:00.000+08:00

For all the Naruto's Fan out there (im more to Sakura's fan...kekeke), new season of Naruto is out and it's call Naruto Shippuuden. All charaters from previous seasons have grown up and i can tell u...Sakura realli looks sexy!!! Episodes from the new season can be downloaded from dattebayo.com

The old and new Naruto

Sakura...oh Sakura...sui boh?

Naruto:Shippuuden Opening

Nonit to pay wan...totally free. It's in torrent files just like those yamadeh iku iku kimoche movies. Now alreadi 4 episodes....faster go download la. Dun wait anymore...

Chinese New Year 2007 Horoscope- Year of Fire PIG

2007-02-13T11:50:00.000+08:00

So fast passed anoder year. Coming is the Year of Fire PIG (This coming CNY must eat lot of Roasted Pork if u wanna fatt fatt fatt). To all those G-Pars, the year belongs to you. Lolx.

Okie, now lets take a look at PIG Year Horoscope.

YEAR OF THE FIRE PIG HOROSCOPE - RATRAT: 65% (9 favorable, 1 neutral and 2 unfavorable months)

Things are looking up for the Rat, as the Pig is a lot friendlier toward you than the Dog. You have a tremendous advantage of quickness over the Pig, so you can create lots of opportunities for yourself this year. As with last year, however, ruling Fire puts you at a disadvantage as Fire and Water (your fixed element) spell disaster in Chinese. You can be a big winner this year if you realize that you may be your own worst enemy and do your best to avoid recklessness.

Career:
Work life should proceed relatively smoothly. Merchants, bankers and salespeople could have a banner year.

Relationships:
Typically, the Rat is not a particularly sensual lover. There is passion, however, and it is likely to be stimulated this year by a new love interest.

Health:
The Pig means the Rat no harm, but there nevertheless are several unlucky stars influencing the Rat this year. They are most likely to affect the area of health. Don’t be surprised if you become sick or feel run-down on more than one occasion. Give yourself a fighting chance by monitoring your health closely and eating a healthy diet.

Wealth:
Rats who work for commission or for themselves could make significant sums of money. The Pig smiles on honest commerce.

YEAR OF THE FIRE PIG HOROSCOPE - OX42% (4 favorable and 8 unfavorable months)

This year could very well be a repeat of last year -- not that great but not horrible, either. Fire continues to rule, and Pig style is not for you.

Career:
Plod on and you might enhance your prospects. You have plenty to do, but there will be obstacles. Rack up accomplishments, but don’t expect that promotion this year.

Relationships:
The single Ox might find a new love interest or two, but don’t expect things to develop rapidly. It’s also not a great time to try to push an existing relationship to the next level. Be patient, as better times are coming. The married Ox could experience quarrels and tension if their spouse’s emotional needs are not met.

Health:
The Ox tends to be a workaholic, especially when having problems in their love life, but this is a year when you could become run down. Monitor your stress and energy levels, and seek medical attention at the first sign of trouble.

Wealth:
A loss is a real possibility, as you are under the influence of several unlucky stars. Keep your eyes on the balance sheet.

YEAR OF THE FIRE PIG HOROSCOPE - TIGER: 65% (9 favorable, 1 neutral and 2 unfavorable months)

The luck of the Tiger flourishes in the year of the Pig. This is not the time to hold back. It may be hard to make as much progress as last year, but the odds are in your favor right now, so take what you can get.

Career:
You can make a mark for yourself by volunteering for and aggressively attacking challenging projects. Advancement is a real possibility for the Tiger who is in the middle of the action.

Relationships:
There should be no major setbacks but also no significant gains. Just work on strengthening the relationships you now have.

Health:
Your energy level should be more than sufficient to make the most of this high energy year. Do, however, follow the Pig’s example and occasionally take time for some serious rest and relaxation -- and make sure it has a sensual component.

Wealth:
There are no guarantees in life, but this is as good a time as any to go for the big one.

YEAR OF THE FIRE PIG - RABBIT79% (1 neutral and 11 favorable months)How sweet it is!

The Fire Pig is a little wild for your tastes, but a Pig is a Pig, and a Pig is one of your best friends.

Career:
It could be a good year if you are in business. The salaried Rabbit, however, can expect only modest progress.

Relationships:
Passion runs deep. There is a strong chance of finding a new love. It’s also an auspicious time to get married.

Health:
If there’s a Rabbit vulnerability this year as with last, it is in the area of health. There is an unlucky star influencing you this year, and with all the Fire around, you could be susceptible to minor accidents if you try to keep up with the hectic pace.

Wealth:
Your finances are secure. If you deal with money directly you are likely to increase your wealth.

YEAR OF THE FIRE PIG HOROSCOPE - DRAGON69% (1 neutral, 1 unfavorable and 10 favorable months)

The Dragon is supposed to be a lucky sign, and you'll prove it! Several lucky stars shine on your every endeavor, and both Pig and Fire favor you.

Career:
Smooth sailing. Sales people and anyone on commission could be in for a nice bonus.

Relationships:
Lucky in love. If you’ve been looking for a new love interest, this could be the time you find it. It’s a great time for a wedding.

Health:
Not likely to experience any new, health significant problems. If you’re really lucky, an existing one might even be cleared up.

Wealth:
A significant amount of money could come your way, perhaps an unexpected inheritance.

YEAR OF THE FIRE PIG HOROSCOPE - SNAKE37% (1 favorable, 2 neutral and 9 unfavorable months)

Actually, 37% makes things look better than they are. This could be a very trying year indeed, as you and the Pig are on different wavelengths. To top it off, several unlucky stars have your number this year.

Career:
Here is one area where results might be satisfactory. You’re not likely to win that big promotion, but you can make steady progress. Just do what you do and hope for the best.

Relationships:
This is not a good year for marriage, for finding the love of your life, or even for taking an existing relationship to the next level. The Pig stirs up everything sensual about you, but if that leads to an impetuous decision, the results could be disastrous.

Health:
Frustration over a series of setbacks could increase your stress level to a point where you might need to consult a health care practitioner.

Wealth:
You are susceptible to at least one significant loss this year.

YEAR OF THE FIRE PIG HOROSCOPE - HORSE50% (5 favorable and 7 unfavorable months)

The Pig is not a particularly good year for the Horse, but there will still be opportunities. And, since it is a Fire year, there will be plenty of the excitement and adventure you crave. In a year of mixed results timing is all important. Pick your spots wisely.

Career:
In general the best you can expect in a Pig year is to maintain your position with perhaps slight progress. Do your best and make sure the Pig doesn’t lead you into so much frivolity you neglect the job.

Relationships:
You’re likely to get swept up in the passion associated with Fire and Pig. Go with it! If you find someone who interests you, don’t hesitate to make a move. It may or may not last, but if you connect, you can bet it will be a hot romance. As for existing relationships turn up the heat. It just might get you to the next level.

Health:
As with last year, this could be your biggest area of concern. It’s even more critical to make your annual checkup, as the Pig is less favorable for you than the Dog. If something develops that seems like a problem, get it checked out right away. Vulnerability to stress is always a factor in a Fire year.

Wealth:
Generally this should be the kind of year where you make money but also spend it about as fast as it comes in. You’re not likely to strike it rich; however, you should have more than enough money to afford some luxury. The Pig may not be a friend, but that is no reason to ignore its call to pamper yourself a bit.

YEAR OF THE FIRE PIG HOROSCOPE - SHEEP73% (1 neutral and 11 favorable months)

This could be a great year for you. Success is yours for the taking in any area you wish to pursue. The Pig is one of your two best friends, and gentle, yin Fire provides just the right amount of stimulus for you to pursue your interests with vigor.

Career:
Give your work your best effort. This could be the year when the promotion for which you have been looking is finally yours. The main thing, however, is that now is the time to make your mark. Let others, and yourself, see what you can really do. Now is the time to shine.

Relationships:
This is a most auspicious year for marriage. In doting on yourself, make sure you don’t neglect your family. If you are at all vulnerable this year, it is because a friend or associate could let you down. The Pig is known for being overly trusting; if you don’t watch your back at least a little bit, you could be deceived.

Health:
Should be smooth sailing here -- no major, new problems.

Wealth:
You’re likely to spend a good deal of money this year, but it’s for a good cause -- you! Enhance your wardrobe, consider buying a new car or plan an extravagant vacation. You can balance your checkbook next year. You’ve earned the right to enjoy the bounty of your labors.

YEAR OF THE FIRE PIG HOROSCOPE - MONKEY58% (6 favorable, 2 neutral and 4 unfavorable months)

Don’t be misled by all those favorable months -- this is not likely to be a good or a bad year, but rather one with mixed results. You have unlucky stars around you. The key is to take full advantage of lucky months and bide your time during the rest. As with last year, you also have the problem of Fire, as Fire melts Metal (your fixed element) and therefore your luck. Overall you’re looking at about a 50-50 year.

Career:
If you are in commerce, you could do very well. Other Monkeys could be looking at a mediocre year.

Relationships:
Alone-time is more likely to be your lot than budding romance. It will be up to you to extend a hand to others, as people may not be coming up to you for companionship. There are, no doubt, people out there who feel the same as you, so cheer yourself up by lifting their spirits. You will all be happier.

Health:
It is in this area where you could have the most problems this year. You are susceptible to illness and especially accidents. The combination of Fire and Metal is conducive to injuries. Avoid stress-related problems by taking time off at regular intervals throughout the year. Pamper yourself -- doctor’s orders.

Wealth:
Like your buddy the Rat, you are a lot quicker than the Pig. With money flowing in, you should be able to make a (quick) profit or two this year. Look for opportunities.

YEAR OF THE FIRE PIG - ROOSTER50% (5 favorable and 7 unfavorable months)

That 50% rating is an average that masks the fact you are likely to have some very good and bad luck this year. The Pig is generally good to the Rooster, but Fire is the enemy of Metal, your fixed element.

Career:
There is a greater likelihood of a significant problem instead of a promotion. This is definitely not the time to take chances, make a career change, have a personality conflict with the boss or bend the rules.

Relationships:
Your family can be a source of joy this year, so plan on doing a lot of things with them. This could include taking an extended vacation. It’s also a good time to have a baby or get married. Your passions will be ignited, and love will find you. Go for it.

Health:
You are vulnerable to accidents. There could also be some health issues, especially stress-related ones resulting from difficult conditions at work. The wise Rooster must be careful not to ruffle any feathers.

Wealth:
You could come into money this year. This could be from an unexpected source, but it could also be a normal result of your investments.

YEAR OF THE FIRE PIG HOROSCOPE - DOG64% (10 favorable and 2 unfavorable months)

Time to kick back and enjoy life with the Pig. This has the potential to be a very favorable year in many areas. The Dog is generally though of as the protector, but this year the tables are turned. It is the Pig that is watching over you and sending luck your way.

Career:
This is a good time to change careers if that is what you have been thinking of doing. Lucky stars smile upon those who begin a new business venture. It is generally a favorable time for all.

Relationships:
The Pig is the complementary sign to the Dog. There will be a number of opportunities to make new friends and associates who can help you in your career and also make your personal life more fulfilling.

Health:
As with last year, you should enjoy reasonably good health -- as long as you take the normal precautions. It’s a Fire year, though, so accidents could pose a problem.

Wealth:
A windfall could very well be yours. It may not be a jackpot, but unexpected money is coming your way.

Wuaaahhh...those born in Dog Year got luck this year wor. I think i shud buy 4D,Toto and Da ma cai la. Afterall, Wingz is giving out lucky number.

For those tat want a more details Horoscope, visit http://www.firepig.com

Learn How To "Diuz"

2006-12-16T13:43:00.000+08:00

Very often heard people use the word "Diuz". Today I hired a leng lui to teach people how to "Diuz"...see the video below.

Before you proceed, the video not suitable for those below 10yr old. Explicit contents...proceed at ur own risks.

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Wuahahahha....

French Kiss MTV

2006-12-14T02:21:00.000+08:00

This is one sexylicious MTV. Wooohoooo!!!!

Paradox Of Our Times

2006-12-05T15:37:00.000+08:00

Today we have bigger houses and smaller families
More conveniences , but less time

We Have More degrees, but less common sense
More knowledge , but less judgment

We have more experts, but more problems
More medicine, but less wellness

We spend too recklessly
Laugh too little
Drive too fast
Get too angry too quickly
Stay up too late
Read too little
Watch TV too much
And pray too seldom

We multiply our possessions, but reduce our values
We talk too much, love too little and lie too often

We’ve learned how to make living, but not a life
We’ve added years to life, not life to years

We have taller buildings, but shorter tempers
Wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints

We spend more, but have less
We buy more, enjoy it less

We’ve been all the way to the moon and back
But have trouble crossing the street to meet our neighbors.

We’ve conquered outer space,
But not inner space

We’ve split the atom
But not our prejudice

We write more, learn less, plan more, but accomplish less
we’ve learned to rush, but not to wait,
we have higher incomes , but lower morals

We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies
But have less communications

We are long on quantity,
But short on quality

These are the time of fast foods and slow digestion
Tall men , and short character

More leisure and less fun, more kinds of foods, but less nutrition
Two incomes, but more divorce
Fancier houses, but broken homes

How True it is....haihhh...

Fucking

2006-11-17T03:21:00.000+08:00

"Fucking"- this word itself carries alot of meaning. In general, we often use "fucking" to verbally abuse the other party. i.e "FUCKING U!!!"
Some of us might oso use it as an adjective i.e "The slut over there is fucking hot"- it add power to "hot" as in extreamly hot. By fact, "Fucking" means to engage in sexual intercourse.

But little do we know that there's a place called "Fucking". Another piece of facts of life...

WANNA GO FUCKING???

Xda Stealth

2006-11-10T10:44:00.000+08:00

O2 unleashed another model into the market- It's Xda Stealth. This baby is damn cun la. Comes in matt finishing, a slider PDA/Phone, Microsoft® Windows Mobile® 5.0, 2.4" QVGA TFT-LCD Touch screen-big enuff to spam blogs (hehehe...), Built-in Wireless Lan, 192MB built-in memory and tis baby got keypad-unlike 02 atom and rest of it. But the outlook is abit like Samsung slider phone and it is not equiped with a built-in radio-Fuk!!! can't listen to MixFm

Check out the full specification at O2.com

I WAN TIS BABY!!!!

p/s: anyone wanna sponsor? hehehe...

Do Breast A Charity

2006-11-06T19:19:00.000+08:00

A fundraiser for breast cancer patients will be held on 9 November 2006, Thursday, Mezquite 52, Heritage row in Kl.

p/s: where is Mezquite 52?

All ladies and gentlemen, Ah bengs and Ah Lians are welcome to contribute. There will be Guest Performance by Dayang Nurfaizah, Tom Abang Saufi, Izlyn Ramli, Melissa Indot, Sarah Daye, Too Phat and many more...

After party (10pm- late): Free entrance
Theme: Pink

For more info and RSVP Dinner Tickets, contact:

Sham van Boonstra- 6.017 368 8660
Kean Au- 6.012 2848611
Ratna Wasli- 6.012 828 7000

p/s: Do you know male will get breast cancer too?

DotA Allstars

2006-11-05T04:58:00.000+08:00

Haih..yet anoder day ended at cyber-cafe. It's just a routine for me, I HAVE NO LIFE!!! But today DotA really frustrating. For once i realli wish i can quit playing games at cyber-cafe but it become an addiction just like men are obsessed with boobs. For those tat dunno wat the hell is DotA, here's the link www.dota-allstars.com

Go study it, get obsessed wit it...and when you are done, please tell me is there any hero tat can combat 5 enemies in a bunch?

Sexy!!!

2006-10-28T04:21:00.000+08:00

Wanna see some beauty? Not enuff with Miss Aqua Universe, Thailand now got Miss Jumbo Queen Universe...hahaha. Dun Miss out on the "JUMBO". Enjoyz...

The Contestants

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The Winner-182kg

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More of the winner-look at her arms...my gawd!!!

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One word to described her-BIZZARD

Okie...i had enuff. I need to clear my supper
***go toilet vomit***

How To Approach Woman

2006-10-15T03:15:00.001+08:00

Ahhh...interesting topic eh. I wudnt know much 'bout dating women cos i onli have a few in my life(so far). The article below was in my mailbox by some dating agency and i found it to be quite interesting but how true is it...i might need some opinions from both leng chais and leng luis out therre.

____________________________________________________________________

A few hours ago I was standing in a "posh" barin San Francisco. I was standing near to the bar, looking aroundat the people, when the guy next to me startstalking to a girl that he doesn't know. She turned and looked at him with a look thatsaid "I don't know you, I don't want to talk toyou, and you have no chance with me". The look on her face couldn't have been more clear. As soon as he started talking to her, sheput up her defenses. The more he tried to talk to her, the more annoyed she got. It was painful to watch. Then things got REALLY interesting. The guy turned to me and started making conversation with me. He asked me how I was "doing" with the ladie sat the bar. I told him that I had just arrived, and I wasn't particularly in the mood to talk to womenat the moment... I was just enjoying my drink and relaxing. He then started to talk about how "meeting women was a numbers game" and how he had been"laying rap" on women all night... but he didn'thave any "luck" so far. We started discussing our different approaches to meeting women. I told him that when I decide to talk to a woman that I really find attractive, I am confident that I'll be successful with her. He kind of laughed and told me that meeting women was a game of luck, and if you wanted to win, you had to just keep playing the numbers...and hope you find one that likes you. Right at that moment, two cute women walked upto the bar. One of them was very hot. He looked at the hotter girl, pointed to her, and said "I like that". I said "Well then go talk to her". He decided to go "order a drink" (in otherwords, he was going to go up to the bar and FAKE like he was there to order a drink, and then"accidentally" start a conversation with her). Of course, he already HAD a drink, so he fumbled around trying to find a place to put it down so he could walk up to the bar with no drink and not look like he was "on the make". It was pretty damn funny. Anyway, he squeezes in next to this girl, and tries to act like he's just there to get a drink.He then turns to her, and tries to start aconversation. What happened? Of course... Her defenses went up INSTANTLY. She said a few words to him, but then turned away from him, took her drink and her friend, and walked away from the bar. He came back over to me and made no comment about the interaction with her... I watched him try to talk to more women after that... all with the same result. Their defenses went up AS SOON as he started talking to them. This guy's theory of "talking to a lot of women
until you get lucky and find one who likes you"was working pretty well... Except for the fact that he WASN'T getting"lucky" at all, and NO women liked him.... One of the problems he had was not understanding this thing that I call "Sexual Communication".

HITTING THE WALL

Have you ever been in a situation talking to a girl, and you could just FEEL that she had her"defenses up"? Or have you ever been out on a date with awoman, and had a bad feeling in your GUT about the situation... and no matter what you did, the situation only got worse, and she seemed to get further away from you? If you're like me, then you've been in a LOT of these situations. In fact, I think it's happened to me so many times that I have "female defense radar". It's like I can tell INSTANTLY if a woman has her defenses up... and it doesn't feel GOOD. You've been there... one minute everything is OK, and the next minute she has flipped on somekind of force-field that is PERMANENT. You know what I'm talking about... And once the defenses are up, it's as if she has become a DIFFERENT person. And trying to make it better, only makes it worse. Always. That's called HITTING THE WALL. And once you hit it, there's no bouncing back.A WOMAN'S DEFENSES, AND HOW THEY WORK So what's up with that? Why do women have this "defense mechanism"? What triggers it? And how can we, as guys, get past it? Well, the reality is that a woman's defense mechanism is something that PROTECTS her. It saves her time. And it saves her headaches and hassles. You've heard me say that attractive women are approached ALL THE TIME by men. In one way or another, an attractive woman is CONSTANTLY approached and pursued by men. Women can't afford to spend even a FRACTION of their time with every guy who shows interest, so they use "time management" techniques. How 21st century of them. One of these "time management techniques" is their defense mechanism. If a girl decides that she isn't interested in being with a particular guy... and it doesn't matter if it's within the first five seconds or the first five months... the mechanism kicks in. It creates an invisible wall that protects her.You can feel it. She can feel it. And even though neither of you can see it, you both know that it's more powerful than a real wall... because most men don't know how to get PAST it. I know that you've thought about this issue at some point. If you're like me, you've thought about it a LOT. Maybe even obsessively. Maybe you have even schemed and tortured yourself trying to figure out the magic way to get past a woman's defenses... Are you with me here?

A NEW WAY OF LOOKING AT THINGS... What if I were to tell you that YOU are the one who actually controls her defense mechanism? And what if I were to tell you that all this time, YOU'RE THE ONE who's been causing women to put up their defenses, and shut you out? And what if I told you that looking for the magic way to "get past her defenses" was really a waste of time? What if I told you instead that the ULTIMATE way to "get past" her defenses was to NEVER CAUSE HER TO PUT THEM UP in the first place. See, the reality is that her defenses are a RESPONSE or a REACTION to something YOU are doing.YOU are the one who's doing things that kick off the sequence of events. In fact, if you think of it from this particular perspective, you'll realize that youREALLY ARE controlling her defense mechanisms.

BACK TO MY STORY... Shortly after his "bad luck" episodes, the guy I was talking to in the bar walked away from me. I stood at the bar thinking of what he had just said and done... and how so many guys I've met think the same way. Right then, a woman asked me if I'd move over a little bit so she could order a drink. I said "sure", and turned sideways so she could squeeze in next to me. At first, I turned my back to her. After a minute or two, I turned back around,and started talking to her and her friends. I was teasing them and making fun, and generally being a pain in the ass. There were a total of four girls there together, and I was talking to three of them. I turned my attention to the quietest of the three, and started teasing her. I asked her why she was so quiet, teasing her about it, etc. Every time I asked her a question or said something, she either shook her head "no" or nodded her head "yes". No words. Finally, she held up her left hand and proudly displayed her wedding ring. She said "I'm married". I laughed at her and said "Wow, good for you. I guess if I was trying to pick up on you I'd be pretty upset right now... but I'm not, so you don't have anything to worry about".

Now, the REALITY of the situation was that I was NOT trying to "pick up on her". She was the least attractive woman in the group, and her personality was about as interesting as a mule's. Her friends heard me say this to her, and they turned and looked at me with wide eyes. They couldn't believe that I had just said that to their friend, and they could tell that I was being VERY serious, and that I could care less what she thought of me. I went on talking to these four girls for the rest of the night... about another hour or so. I mixed up the conversation. Sometimes I talked to one of them... sometimes two... sometimes three... sometimes all four. I teased them all, busted on them, called them all kinds of freaky-chick names, and generally acted like they were my four, bratty little sisters that annoyed me... but who I still loved (alittle). By the end of the evening, I was sitting on a little couch with three of the girls. At this point, there were almost NO women left at this bar. I'd say the guy/girl ratio was about6 or 7 to 1. I could see about 30 guys standing around me,and maybe 5 or 6 women. And I had 3 of those 5 or6 on the couch next to me. At one point, two of them were on either side of me MASSAGING me at the same time. It was funny. Of course RIGHT AT THAT MOMENT the guy from earlier walked by, stopped, and looked at me. The look of shock in his eyes was priceless. He didn'teven say hi... he just walked away. The evening ended with two of the girls kissing me, and one of them getting my number because she was going to be in my area in a few weeks and wanted to see me... Let's get down to the point... The reason why I was so successful with these particular women was because I didn't do what every other guy that they ran into did... I didn't trigger their DEFENSE MECHANISMS. They had time to get to know me... they had time to get comfortable with me... and I had time to spark all kinds of sexual tension and attraction with them.

Now let me tell you how I did it...WHAT TRIGGERS A WOMAN'S DEFENSE MECHANISM... AND HOW TO AVOID IT I'm about to give you a VERY important insightinto how women interact with men. Pay close attention to this. It's taken me a LONG time to figure this out... Women are VERY perceptive. They know what a guy is thinking by looking at his body language, and listening to his voice tone. Some experts estimate that women are as much as TEN TIMES better than men at reading body language. To most women, men are an OPEN BOOK. Guys have no idea just how obvious they are... And there's one particular thing that triggers a woman's defense mechanism faster than a chubbykid eats cake... It's SEEKING APPROVAL. In every situation with a woman, you can say WHATEVER you want to say in a way that either:

1) Seeks her approval

2) Doesn't seek her approval Think about it.

You're either SEEKING APPROVAL... or you'reNOT... And most guys ARE when they're talking to a woman that they're interested in. As I watched the guy in the bar walk up to women and try to start conversations all night,the ONE thing that was obvious to all that had the eyes to see, was that he wanted APPROVAL. He wanted the women to LIKE him. I guarantee you that this man was an honest-to-goodness certifiable WUSSY... and every woman that he tried to talk to could SMELL it on him.

On the other hand, when I talk to a woman, I avoid seeking approval. I make it clear, no matter what I'm saying or doing, that it doesn't matter whether or not she likes me... I could care less. The more I made it clear to the women I was talking to, that I DIDN'T need their approval, the more they LIKED ME. If you want to get past a woman's defenses, the best plan of action is to NOT TRIGGER them IN THE FIRST PLACE. Now, the reality of this situation is that some women are walking around with their defenses already up. Maybe they're married, or maybe they're angry at men... or maybe they're just very shy. We live in the real world, and this is part of it. But in most situations YOU are the one who triggers the defenses. It's YOU.

I have several friends who I've watched interacting with women MANY, MANY times... and these particular guys RARELY, if EVER get the"defensive" cold shoulder from women. Why? Because they're not seeking approval. They're just doing what they want, and being themselves. If you can spend an hour talking to a woman,and not seek her approval the entire time, you stand a DRAMATICALLY better chance of taking things to the next level with her. That simple demonstration of showing her a full hour of non-approval-seeking behavior and communication will separate you from 99% of all the guys that have approached her in her life. And the best part about this particular technique is that it's NOT MANIPULATION. In fact,seeking approval is far more manipulative than what I'm saying here. In fact, one of the reasons why women don't like a guy who seek approval, is because they INSTANTLY sense that the guy is using a MANIPULATIVE tactic. If you think through the situations that you've been in with women, you realize that this is the case. So stop seeking women's approval when you meet them. Stop it!

Learn how to say things in a way that clearly communicates that you don't need her to like you or approve of you. Then learn how to be Cocky & Funny. When you can make a woman laugh while you're NOT seeking her approval, you have a powerful combination that sparks ATTRACTION. Which leads me to the VERY BEST way of all to"get past a woman's defenses". MAKE HER FEEL ATTRACTION FOR YOU. If a woman feels a powerful ATTRACTION for you,then the kinds of defenses that we're talking about here don't even come into play. Attraction is such a powerful physical and emotional response that it temporarily disables a woman's defense mechanisms... It's the one thing, if you know how to do it,that women WISH you would trigger inside of them. Once a woman starts to feel that magical emotional and physical response called ATTRACTION,the entire situation changes, and you start having the kinds of success with women that most men only dream about. And most women go through life WISHING, HOPING,AND DREAMING that they will someday find a man that can make them feel this amazing feeling... That man should be you.

___________________________________________________________________

If this really true, then i might have some luck hitting on girls....hehehe

Hidupku

2006-10-14T16:27:00.000+08:00

Hidupku dipenuhi halangan
Hidupku dipenuhi kebosanan
Inginku putus asa
Inginku menlepaskan segala-galanya

Namun bila ku bertemu dengan mu
Hidupku berubah saban hari
Kegembiraan mula menjelma
Kepuasan yang tak terhingga

Aku menunggu
Aku menanti
Malam menjelang
Nikmat tak terhingga

Arghh...jariku mengatal
Hatiku tak sabar
Tepat pukul 10 malam
Aku mesti main DotA

Come Back

2006-10-06T20:20:00.000+08:00

Haiyoo...so long din update my blog la. I left my job as Sales Executive from the previous company and started own company wit a partner. Since new office is under renovation,there will be no internet connection. Tat's why i cudnt update my blog. Recently just subscibed a wireless-internet connection for the place I'm staying and now I'm back into the network.

Yea babby yeaaa....

To those out there, indians ke, malays ke, chinese ke, mangali ke tat celebrate Mooncake Festival, I wish Happy Mooncake Festival...hehehe...

Merdeka Meme

2006-09-06T18:53:00.000+08:00

Been busy for the past few weeks so dun really have time to update my blog. But I've been tagged,anyhow i must complete the meme...though it's abit late. Well, it's better late than never. Hehehe...

sudah 6 hari Merdeka berlalu
hanya kini meme ini dibuat ku
saban tahun hari istimewa ini dikenangi
tatapi ini tahun ingin ku menlupai

menjelang merdeka semua orang happy
minum dan hisap sampai puas hati
lepas merdeka mau minum sakit hati
pasal rokok dan arak naik harga lagi

tapi aku tau AhPek tak peduli
pasal dia hanya minum o'kau dan todi
rokok dia boleh tak hisap
asal ada tetek dia sudah puas

bangun pagi tunggu petang
bila petang harap awek pulang
duduk tepi katil mengkangkang
nampak saje terus nak terkam

apa kena mengena ini dengan merdeka?
biar aku explain pada fellow blogger
harga kondom tetap sama
boleh hantam bila-bila suka

sampai sini saje puisi merdeka ini
lagi continue aku mungkin akan mati
nanti ada orang mau tangkap dan gari
baik aku cepat-cepat cabut lari

Naked

2006-08-10T14:21:00.000+08:00

Been busy these few days but after kena poke poke poke from someone, guess i havta answer the tag anyhow.

Okie,done. Tat's wat i'm wearing today.

Alamak,satu tahun lagi

2006-07-25T20:59:00.000+08:00

Tonite...tonite is the nite when the clock struck 12am will make a big different in my life. I'm officially older by 1yr. OMG....

Sayang....

2006-07-24T23:27:00.000+08:00

Yesterday,as usual go to work at 10am but as usual oso late. Onli arrived at 11am. Since late edi so "kelentong" say go customer there collect money la. As soon reached office, the first thing to do read newspaper, after tat think very hard ***squezee the brain*** of wat to do for the rest of the day. Lucky me, my manager ask me if i'm free at 4pm. Without any delay, i replyed tat i'm totally his.

***cont to check-out ppl blog,reply,comdemn,complain,praise bla bla bla***

12.30pm, yahoo!!! lunch time, go out tarpao "cha siew fan". Lunch hour for me usually 2hrs at least but special day like yesterday i onli take 1hr.

After lunch,head on to factory. nothing to do over there oso, just smoke smoke,chat chat, drink coca-cola, check blog.

Finally 4pm, went to Petronas,KLCC with my manager. Meeting with "some ppl"
yada yada yada...end of story

On the way to the carpark, we havta walk thru Parcson(correct ar?) where there's lotsa cosmetics counters. As I just about to reach the lift, i caught a glimpse of a lady. When i try to focus on it, Mak ooi! Mak nyah la! So i fast fast turn my head and walk away like nothing happened. It was tat moment....tat freakin' moment

Sayanggggggg....

F*rk !!! immediatedly i can feel the cold right into my spine. I just got PAWNED

To Shave or Not To Shave?

2006-07-22T10:55:00.000+08:00

The practice of trimming and shaving the pubic hair appears to be gaining in popularity amongst women. Some like it to be clean shaved, some trim and shave it into shapes-just to maintain their womanhood i guess, and some loves it the way it is. Pubic hair, beside being a protection to the sensitive tissues, it also acts as a decoration. It often serves more of a social function than bioligical one. As mentioned by Aceone, What would you think of a woman with thick bush under the armpit? I would considered to be an eyesore but yet some might think it's something natural. Back to the topic, now what would you think of a woman when she opened up, u see nothing but thick bush? Unpleasant view eh...
Whether a woman has body or pubic hair should be the result of her own personal decision. Even so, social pressure will always play a part in her decision.

There can be many sexual benefits to trimming one's pubic hair, even if one does not remove it in its entirety. Pubic hair when long and thick can completely obscure a woman's genitals and create a barrier between her and her genitals. A woman who trims or shaves her pubic hair often becomes more aware of her genitals and sexuality as a result. Having short or no pubic hair can have its advantages during partner sex. First your partner may prefer it and find it sexually stimulating. As a result they find you more desirable. A woman's partner may prefer to be able to see what they are about to lick with their tongue and insert their fingers or penis into. A thick growth of pubic hair may obscure one's view of a woman's genitals and cause you to be curious or even fearful of what lies behind, not to mention it's a breeding zone for lice. Women who like oral sex often find it more enjoyable when their sensitive skin is directly exposed to their partner's tongue and not protected by a layer of hair. Their partner also does not have to worry about getting hair in their mouth. Some women like to shave because of sexual roles they act out, the naughty schoolgirl, the submissive slave, or the seductive flasher. The trimming and shaving of the pubic hair is just one way of enhancing sex, solo and with a partner.

For women who just want to trim their pubic hair there are no special techniques or skills required. A comb and a pair of scissors are all the tools needed. An electric or battery operated beard trimmer can come in handy as then you can quickly trim the hair to a uniform length. A woman can slowly trim her hair shorter and shorter until she finds a look she likes. She can use a beard trimmer to remove all her hair if she chooses without actually shaving. This is perhaps a wise choice for the beginner since it does not cut the hair below the skin line. While you wont look or feel baby smooth, you will for all practical purposes be shaven. A beard trimmer wuold certainly be a wise investment for any woman serious about trimming or shaving her pubic hair.

Shaving can be a bumpy road for the beginner. Women often complain about the resulting irritation and itching that occurs. Women hearing other women's accounts of what happened to them often are reluctant to shave themselves, understandably. The likely cause for these adverse side affects is doing too much too soon. The first time shaver often goes from a full bush to baby soft in a single session. This is pretty hard on the delicate tissues of the vulva. The skin is not use to the irritations associated with shaving. Any woman who decides to shave needs to acknowledge that it wont be a risk free adventure. Most of the women who shave say it took time for their bodies to get use to shaving and for them to figure out a shaving technique that worked best for them. While some women may find they are able to shave without difficulty, I believe most women are not so lucky. It is for this reason a woman should only shave if she is sure she wants to and is willing to experiment and tolerate some mild discomfort in the beginning. This is not something a woman should do if she sees it only as a one-time event. If they do, it had better be a very special event to justify the discomfort they will likely experience afterwards.

Below are some tips for women interested in shaving their pubic area:

Go in steps. Unless it is very important for you to surprise your partner, do not go from full bush to totally bare all at once. Start by just trimming the hair a little shorter each week. Perhaps using a beard trimmer. Once the hair is short all over, start shaving the outer labia. The outer labia seem to tolerate shaving better than does the pubic mound. The following week or so start making the patch of short hair on your pubic mound smaller and smaller by trimming and shaving. If you start noticing irritation developing, do not remove any additional hair until the irritation goes away. This is done by experimenting with different razor strokes, different shave creams, and jells, different razors, different clothing, etc. It may take time for the skin to get use to shaving, since the razor likely scraps away the outer layer of tissue and can cut the hair below the skin line resulting in redness and ingrown hairs. Some women may find they cannot shave their pubic mound, and as a result only trim the hair there very short.

It takes time. In the beginning expect to spend thirty to sixty minutes each time you groom your pubic region. If you are going for the bare look right off the bat, plan on a couple hours. Once you and your body are use to shaving, it only takes a couple minutes to shave the pubic area, if done every day, or every other day.

Use only new razor blades EVERY time. The coarse pubic hair will dull the blades very quickly. Unless you are into self-torture never use a blade to shave your legs then use it on your pubic area. That equates to ouch in capital letters! If you use an electric razor, make sure its blades are not old.

Use a good razor, perhaps one with special blades and a pivoting head. Some women's razors now have wide handles so you have more to hold onto. You may need to try several to find one that works best. You might just want to buy one of each type of disposable you find at your local store and give them all a try.

Start out using thick shaving foams or jells. Apply a new layer of foam or jell after each pass with the razor. You want some lubrication between your delicate skin and that razor sharp blade. Use those intended for sensitive skin. Menthol or eucalyptus may make the skin tingle, but may help soothe the vulva in the long run. (If they start to burn, rinse right away.)

Shave in the evening. This is because the amount of time it takes, and because you will want to remain nude or just wearing a nightshirt or gown afterwards. Once you get use to shaving you can do it in the shower in the morning in a couple minutes.

Tight cloths are out in the beginning, if not always. Your sensitive skin is not going to be able to tolerate anything rubbing against it after the top layer of skin has been scrapped away. You should not wear any clothing that allows cloth to rub against your vulva. Wear dresses and skirts. Do not wear panties; wear tap pants or men's boxers instead. If possible go without underwear. The elastic legs of you regular panties may irritate your bikini line. Tight jeans are likely a very bad idea. Going bottomless will likely feel pretty strange when you start shaving and it may be hard not to think about. This is actually good as it makes you more aware of your sexuality. You will eventually get use to the bare and exposed feeling.

Soak in a warm bath or take a warm shower prior to shaving. This softens the hair and makes it easier to cut. This will account for most of the time it takes to groom your pubic region.

After shaving sleep nude or only with a nightshirt on, socks are okay. No pants or panties. You do not want anything rubbing against your sensitive vulva as you sleep. If you use sanitary napkins, just sleep on top of a couple old towels if you are having your period.

Do not shave closely at first. Do not press into the skin. Make one light pass with the blade then move to the next area. You wont remove all the hair, but it will decrease the amount of irritation you experience. With each subsequent shaving more hair will be removed. Go slow and be gentle.

Stretch the skin with one hand while you shave with the other. This is particularly true near you labia. The groove next to your clitoris may be hard to shave and it will likely take practice to become proficient at it.

Shave in the direction of the hair growth, this usually means down on your pubic mound and diagonally near your outer labia. Just observe your hair growth pattern after you trim the hair short. Some experienced women shave against the hair growth, after first going with the grain, using a very light stroke and a fresh layer of shaving gel or foam. This results in a very close shave. This may not be a good idea for the beginner.

Shave every other day in the beginning. Women often report they do not notice things starting to itch until their hair starts growing out. Shave every other day and use light strokes. In the beginning do not go for the baby smooth look and feel. Once you get practiced and your skin gets use to shaving, continue to shave every other day or daily. If you want to shave your vulva and like it that way, you cannot just shave occasionally. The irritation will drive you crazy.

After shaving apply a lotion to your vulva to soothe the skin. Be careful of scents or other additives that may irritate your delicate skin. Baby oil may lubricate the skin and decrease the amount of friction. The same with baby power, but powder is bad for the vulva and vagina, so use it sparingly.

Use a self-standing mirror and a good light so you can see what you are doing. Unless you are unusually flexible you wont be able to see your entire vulva without them. You will be more likely to cut yourself if you don not.

Some women recommend using a loofah sponge on the days you do not shave, when you bath or shower. Gently rub with and against the hair growth. This removes dead skin and helps keep the hair follicles open, reducing the chances of ingrown hair.

It might sounds troublesome for women that haven't done it before, but considering the sexual benefits and the self-confidence derived from it. IT'S WORTH!!!
Afterall, you wouldn't want those hairs saying "hi" to people around you when u wear bikinis.

Most men would prefer woman's to be trimmed into small patches or clean shaved. What about women? Do they prefer man to shave it? trimmed into shapes?

That for you to tell, for me to find out

Men Jokes

2006-07-12T12:30:00.000+08:00

Okie la, to be fair I'm posting some jokes on men.

A man was in court for a double murder, and the judge said, "You are charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer." A voice at the back of the courtroom yelled out, "You bastard!"
The judge continued, "You are also charged with beating your mother-in-law to death with a hammer."Again, the voice at the back of the courtroom yelled out, "You damned bastard!"
The judge stopped, looked at the man in the back of the courtroom, and said, "Sir, I can understand your anger and frustration at this crime, but I will not have any more of these outbursts from you, or I shall charge you with contempt! Now is that a problem?"
The man at the back of the court stood up and responded, "For fifteen years, I have lived next door to that bastard, and every time I asked to borrow a hammer ... he said he never had one!"

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Top Ten Male Professions and Why

1. Doctor. Because he says, "Take off your clothes."

2. Dentist. Because he says, "Open Wide."

3. Hairdresser. Because he says, "Do you want it teased or blown."

4. Milkman. Because he says, "Do you want it in front or in back?"

5. Interior Decorator. Because he says, "Once you have it all in, you'll love it."

6. Banker. Because he says, "If you take it out to soon, you'll lose interest."

7. Police Officer. Because he says, "Spread 'em."

8. Mailman. Because he always delivers his package.

9. Pilot. Because he takes off fast and then slows down.

10. Hunter. Because he always goes deep in the bush, shoots twice, and always eats what he shoots.

Wuahahaha...
Now all guys come hantam me

Perfect Woman

2006-07-10T12:09:00.000+08:00

Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was,of course, perfect. One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help.
There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering the toys.
Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident.
Question: Who was the survivor?

Scroll down for the answer.....
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Answer:
The perfect woman survived. She's the only one who really existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man.

**** Women stop reading here, this is the end of the joke.
**** Men keep scrolling.
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So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the woman must have been driving. This explains why there was a car accident.
****Men Keep scrolling
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By the way, if you're a woman and you're still reading, this illustrates another point:
Women never listen.

Wuahahaha....
Now all the women will come hantam me

Monkey Business

2006-07-07T10:36:00.000+08:00

AhPek latest post was talking about some monkey business. The Big Fat Monkey and the Chief Gorilla was goin after some bananas and in between some misunderstanding occur la...so this Big Fat Monkey tarak syok the Chief Gorilla and it all end up being a quite sexiting show for us-the audiences. But the main concern is what's the misunderstanding? Haahaha...tat! For me to show,For u to find out.
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No wonder the Big Fat Monkey so angry la. When he's doin something private the Chief Gorilla send his minion grab 9 his balls. =.="

I Like Your Thinking...

2006-07-06T13:42:00.000+08:00

Angel was teaching her primary 1 students when she ask them a question:

Angel:
If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" AhPek didi,can u tell me the answer?

AhPek didi:
Err...None, they all fly away with the first gun shot

Angel:
Ng ngam la, the correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking

AhPek didi:
JJ...JJ, can i ask u a question?

Angel: Sure...wat u wanna ask?

AhPek didi:
If there are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream-one is delicately licking the sides of the tripple scoop ice-cream,the second gobbling down the top and sucking the cone and the third is bitting off the top of the ice-cream. JJ think which is married leh?

After thinking for quite some time, Angel face oso red liao reply AhPek didi

Angel:
Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone

AhPek didi laughing in his heart liao...

AhPek didi:
The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on la but I like your thinking

wuahahahaha....

New Template

2006-07-04T17:08:00.000+08:00

Yeap,it's about time to change tat old skin. Still the new skin need quite abit of tuning herre and there. Not quite satisfied with the header but guess it'll do for now. Damn! I just wasted hours doin the template on working hour.

No Increment from the company = Low productivity

Tats how things work,eh?

Where To Kiss?

2006-07-04T12:11:00.000+08:00

Kissing is probably the most physically romantic two people can get. There really is no wrong way to kiss. The thing to remember is that everybody kisses differently and different people prefer different ways of kissing. But where you kiss brings different meaning...

KISS on the hand means: FRIENDSHIP.
KISS on the nose means: YOU’RE CUTE.
KISS on the cheek means: I NEED YOU.
KISS on the neck means: I WANT YOU.
KISS on the lips means: I LOVE YOU.
Kissing with eyes closed means: I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU.
Kissing with eyes opened means: I’M WATCHING WHERE YOUR HANDS ARE GOING.
The military KISS means ..... "Keep It Simple Stupid".
Stolen Kisses ARE THE SWEETEST! (Always want to return it)

Morale of the story is ... It.s not WHO you are KISSING but WHERE you’re KISSING that matters

Anoder 911 Mystery

2006-06-27T12:34:00.000+08:00

Could it be a coincidene? Watever it is,u'll havta figure it out urself...

Playmate For Angel

2006-06-26T13:25:00.000+08:00

Apo Maciam?

Sex Machines

2006-06-23T16:32:00.000+08:00

The recent "4 meme", our buddy,Ah Pek the old monkey have a few gadgets he wud like to lay his hand on. Since he got his own DIY store,I come up with some videos to give him some inspirations building those gadgets by himself.

Ah Pek,this one specially for u

Check It Out...

Apa maciam? Can build the licking machine for me ar?

Original Sin Sex Scene

2006-06-23T16:22:00.000+08:00

This one abit classic but it's a tribute to all the Angelina's fans out there. Makahai,tat Antonio Banderas "chap dou" lo,his Wife punya muka really tak boleh but on set can screw Angelina.

English Football Bloopers

2006-06-23T16:03:00.000+08:00

I'm not much into football but this is something that wud certainly make it worth to watch.

The Amazing 911 Facts

2006-06-22T13:28:00.000+08:00

1) New York City has 11 letters
2) Afghanistan has 11 letters.
3) Ramsin Yuseb (The terrorist who threatened to destroy the Twin Towers in 1993) has 11 letters.
4) George W Bush has 11 letters.

This could be a mere coincidence, but this gets more interesting:
1) New York is the 11th state.
2) The first plane crashing against the Twin Towers was flight number11.
3) Flight 11 was carrying 92 passengers. 9 + 2 = 11
4) Flight 77 which also hit Twin Towers, was carrying 65 passengers.6+5 = 11
5) The tragedy was on September 11, or 9/11 as it is now known. 9 + 1+ 1 = 11
6) The date is equal to the US emergency services telephone number911. 9 + 1 + 1 = 11.

Sheer coincidence..?! Read on and make up your own mind:
1) The total number of victims inside all the hi-jacked planes was254. 2 + 5 + 4 = 11.
2) September 11 is day number 254 of the calendar year. Again 2 + 5 + 4= 11.
3) The Madrid bombing took place on 3/11/2004. 3 + 1 + 1 + 2 + 4 = 11.
4) The tragedy of Madrid happened 911 days after the Twin Towersincident.

Now this is where things get totally eerie:The most recognised symbol for the US, after the Stars & Stripes, isthe Eagle. The following verse is taken from the Quran, the Islamicholy book:

"For it is written that a son of Arabia would awaken a fearsome Eagle.The wrath of the Eagle would be felt throughout the lands of Allah and lo,while some of the people trembled in despair still more rejoiced: forthe wrath of the Eagle cleansed the lands of Allah and there waspeace."

That verse is number 9.11 of the Quran.

Still uncovinced about all of this..?! Try this and see how you feelafterwards, it made my hair stand on end:Open Microsoft Word and do the following:

1. Type in capitals Q33 NY. This is the flight number of the firstplane to hit one of the Twin Towers.
2. Highlight the Q33 NY.
3. Change the font size to 48.
4. Change the actual font to the WINGDINGS

Wooalaaa.....

911

My Virgin Meme

2006-06-20T21:20:00.000+08:00

Wuaah,everytime i enjoy seeing people doin meme. Some funny, some damn funny and some damn 9 lan funny. Tapi sekalang,my turn pulak kena cos AhPek tag 9 me,not enuff, Pisang oso tag me. Ai...

4 jobs that I would really stink at:

Aqua- 'cos I'm a real man.
Gay Lou - 'cos I prefer miao miao more than arsehole
Gigolo- 'cos I dun do it for money
PR - 'cos I dun like foreplay,wanna get into action immediately.

4 nicknames I made for meself.

Sotongking- 'cos it sounds like setokin
Blursotong- 'cos it's the english yersion of "mang tau wu ying"
Toroking- 'cos it's the yupunese yersion of "Sotongking"
Sotong- it's the short yersion of everything la...
diuz...where got so many nicknames

4 movies I can watch over and over again.

Ham tais onli-the rest watch 1 time fed up liao

4 alcoholic drinks I enjoy

Long Island
Illusion
Absolute Vodka-with Ribena?
Chivas

4 destinations I want to go before I go sell salted eggs.

Rumah Urut Kiew Kiew-wanna try out the dola dola full body massage
Nudist Colony-wanna see if my KKC can stnd up 24/7
Haadyai-i heard they can do wonders with their miao miao
Pulau Ketam-wuah...manyak ketam sana la

4 thing I do on weekends

TFK-tis one everyday la
ML-tis one oso everyday
Watch Movies-tis one oso everyday
Swimming-'cos the pool got lotsa lengluis in bikini

4 Celebrities I want to screw.

Latetia Casta
Shakira
Heather Graham
Angelina Jolie

4 Gadgets I would like to have.

Artificial Pussy-tis one veli portable,travel oso can bring along
Blow-up Ms.Bunny-tis one can give blow job
Licking Machine-tired la havta to stick the tongue out
Gigantic Dildo-after i kautim i wanna sleep liao,tis 1 let her kautim herself

4 Tags to the new bloggers.

No one to tag la...semua sodah kena

Job Application

2006-06-14T12:09:00.000+08:00

This is an actual job application that a 17-year-old boy submitted at a McDonald’s restaurant in Florida; and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

NAME: Greg Bulmash.

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I’m worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and ‘post-it’ notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

AVAILABLE FOR WORK: Of course. That’s why I’m applying.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30 – 3:30pm., Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50lbs?: 50lbs. of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be the winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job, no, on my breaks, yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb blond supermodel who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries.

Simply Tee with Strong Message

2006-06-09T15:35:00.000+08:00

Tee 1

Tee 2

More Bizarre News

2006-06-08T15:32:00.000+08:00

HornyPig

Bizarre News

2006-06-08T15:09:00.000+08:00

KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia - It seems that love knows no age for
a 33-year-old man who recently tied the knot with his 104-
year-old bride. Muhamed Noor Che Musa said he found peace
and a sense of belonging after meeting Wook Kundor. "I am
not after her money, as she is poor," Muhamad reportedly
said. The marriage marks the first for Muhamed, and the 21st
for his wife. He said he hoped to help his new bride to
master Roman script while she taught him Islamic religious
knowledge. It was not said, however, if any of Wook's
previous 20 husbands are still alive. Although it's common
for Malaysian Muslim men to take up to four wives at a time,
it's rare for a woman to marry more than once.

Poland's Barber Shop

2006-06-07T17:54:00.000+08:00

In Poland got this barber shop where the women only dress in lingeries. MCH! I wish Malaysia got this kind of barber shop. That way, not only will I cut my hair, I will cut my bulu-bulus also.

Come in for a Cut

U like lingerie?

Wanna see me squat?

How's my boobs?

OMG!

Tammy Letter to Ah Beng

2006-06-07T13:27:00.000+08:00

I know this topic is abit outdated but it's so freakin' funny.

Dear Ah Beng,

I am a poly student and the other day I lost my handphone. Suay-suay, hor, my handphone got this steamy video I shot of me and my boyfriend doing each other. Then some nao hiah must have picked it up and uploaded it, because now the bleddy thing is everywhere! Now I damn lao kwee, go to school got so many people say me. Even police say that maybe I can kena charge for producing an obscene video. How?

Spammy NYP

Dear Spammy,

Dun worry. You ask the right person. When it comes to distributing illegal obscene videos, we at the Chap Sar Tiam Secret Society are the espert.

We can find out who this nao hiah is who sabo you, and make him perform his own sex video, probably with a rottweiler.

Then we can sell DVDs of him at every bus interchange titled ‘the Chronicles of Nao Hiah”. Fair, mah.

As for people saying you, this one is boh pian eh. Maybe you want to consider changing school? Heck care the poly! Come to a university!

Specifically, Hoot U, the Geylang-based uni for bengs and lians, where I am a professor.

You look like you would qualify for a scholarship in our Faculty of Orh Kwee Keng studies. For outstanding students, we offer a direct M.BA. (Master of Bating) advanced degree.

Just come to our main campus at no. 6969 Geylang Lorong 69 so we can see your c.b.

Sorry, sorry, I mean, your c.v.

(Your c.b. we all see oreddy.)

As for the police, I dun think you will kena charge just because you made video of sex. Having sex is normal one, what.

Eh? Chope, chope, chope. This is Singapore, where you can kena charge for just walking around naked in your own flat, so maybe you will kena charge after all. Sorry.

But dun worry, we at Hoot U will not hold having a criminal conviction against you. In fact, if you have, it’s considered ECA points: extra criminal activity points.

See you soon hor,

AH BENG

Top 5 Female Streakers

2006-06-07T12:16:00.000+08:00

Michelle Cassidy

Suzanne Pegg

Naomi Mcdonald

Lynsay Dawn Mckenzie

Melissa

Germany-Ole Oole Ollee...

2006-06-06T15:59:00.000+08:00

The fever is on. Everyone is crazy about World Cup and since Yamade LinPeh is bringing his team to Germany, I thought I'd bring my own team of personal cheerleader specially imported from US. The hooters, darn! they'r hot!

hot hooters